Wow...I can't believe I'm doing this.....

My mind is swirling around and around! I have a love/hate relationship with writing. It's something I've never felt confident about. I did some counseling with a...well a counselor...for a period of time and she really pushed me to "journal". She told me that getting my thoughts and feelings down on paper is like emptying a "vat" (sp??) and it's essentially good for me! Well - journaling stressed me out so much! I have never been able to get past this strange feeling that I am writing for someone else....that what I put down in my journal is going to be critiqued by someone...and therefore it has never been something I liked doing. And now I'm blogging. Ok...so I can't "journal" - even though it's very UNlikely that enyone would ever read and critique my journal. But I'm blogging. I'm essentially "journaling" in a very public place so that anyone can read and critique. And for some strange reason....I'm excited! I don't get myself. Maybe blogging will help me in that area?
What inspired me to blog: I accidently ran across a blog, which led me to some other blogs, about weight loss. Reading these ladies' experiences and feelings just did something in me. I began to feel a little less alone in my struggle with my weight...and more importantly I began to feel like I can succeed. I've tried and I've failed. And I've tried and I've succeeded a little bit. Only to try and fail big-time again. And so on. And so forth. And I was starting to feel a little tired of trying. But now I feel like trying again. And that made me want to jump on the blogging band-waggon and see where the ride takes me.
So for now this blog will be about my weight issues and all that goes along with it. I don't know if that's what it will always be...but that's where I'm starting because that's where I am right now. I'm obsessed! I'm desperate. I'm fat and tired of it!! And I'm tired and really rambling....and beginning to feel some of that familiar "journaling anxiety" come on...so I'm going to bed now. Good night!!